My family and I are planning a trip to San Francisco in a few weeks. The stars and planets are lining up and I do feel like I have won the lottery. It's a unique and glorious situation that's making this happen. We're traveling with one of our Grinnell grandmas to see other close friends who live there. I'll also get to see one of my college roommates and her husband who live in the area. Whenever we talk or she visits me in Iowa, she often adds the line, "You'll want to move here. You will." I've never been interested in living far from Iowa, but it does intrigue me from time to time, especially as I grow older. And as my children grow and move into their own lives, it holds a certain kind of pull for me.If I were to move to another part of the country I'd never been to before, I think it would serve to make me appreciate Iowa even more. It's not because I see the grass as somehow greener or opportunities better or that by starting over once again would somehow finally make life right. I would go because I was curious, not to escape.
In my life, I've been in places where I have had to start over. If I didn't, I'd continue to live life in a waking coma. Just going through the motions. Instead of packing up and moving on, which I could not do even if I wanted to, I actually had to face the issues. Where I needed to go, was inside. And I learned that that is a much more demanding journey than to find a new place to live. Truth is, had I just decided that I'd be happier living somewhere else, I would never find that place. The issues, the past hurts, the disappointments and brokenness would also be coming with me along with my furniture and boxes of household stuff. No matter where I'd end up, I'd still be feeling unfulfilled and left wanting.
I have a lot of living to do in the next several years with my kids at home and getting them on their way in the world. Considering what comes next in my life is as intriguing as seeing what my kids consider what's next for them. What I do know is that these days, I'm traveling a lot lighter from the inside. I've shed a lot of my cargo and I am living more authentically than I ever have. I know that wherever life takes me, I'm healthy and well, ready to continue on the journey.
Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence? Or is it that they've taken better care of their lawn?
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