Everyday humanity

The past month has been a rather intense stretch of time. It's not often, mercifully, that all areas of my life require much more than their usual fair share of attention at the same time. It felt a little like trying to cook a holiday meal with a hot plate. The recent events were all big, and big enough that I couldn't multi-task my way through. They each needed my undivided time. And, that's exactly how it happened. One event completed, an ever-so-brief moment of feet-up, and the next situation appeared.

In the midst of difficult and challenging situations, some pretty amazing things happened. I found myself engaging with people who needed to pour themselves out. I just happened to be the one who made the invitation to be a listener.

Recently, Donna Schaper posted a quote from poet Greg Kumera, who wrote, "The world needs your cargo as much as you need to lose it."Schaper is a writer for the UCC Daily Devotional. You can read her full post here. Schaper's words seem to illustrate what's been going on in my life lately. People need to talk, to share, to dump their cargo, leave past hurts and disappointments behind.

And while I'm listening and being present, I'm also receiving. Not their baggage, but their respect. They have honored me with their trust. What an amazing thing it is to trust another and what a gift to give as well. Trust in someone else seems to be a difficult thing to earn these days. To be willing to be human, to open up, and to share.

It's also a big task to be the listener. To hold someone's feelings, memories, and stories in a way that honors them and keeps it about them. It's tempting to want to fix and make things right or to take on their story. That's not what this is about. This is about listening and being present for them. It's not an easy task and I found myself thinking of all the "professional listeners" in my life. I have a deeper appreciation for their ability to be fully present, yet remain detached. There's a lot of hurt in these conversations.

I invite you to take a chance. Find someone you can trust and open up.And by all means, if you are honored to be chosen a listener, take it seriously. Be human about it all. Allow yourself to feel what it's really like. And  then do it again.